You probably didn’t know it but I woke up in the foulest mood this morning. I was in a very dark disposition. I didn’t really want to be friendly with anyone. At best I just wanted to be all business and worst I didn’t really want to be around people at all. it wasn’t that I didn’t want to go to church. I just woke up on the very dark and wrong side of the bed.
I understand this isn’t a mood a preacher should get in on a Sunday before he goes to church, but nonetheless that is where I found myself this morning. It’s interesting I was talking about having real friends and I was in no mood to be one to anyone.
Here is the problem though, when I wake up in these dark moods is when God seems to speak the loudest through me. As the service began and I started worshipping I just stood there thinking, I bet God is going to really work through me today because I am in this dark mood. And sure enough, after church, Lisa said my sermon was really strong today and I seemed really passionate. He did it again.
So I have a conundrum in the execution of my preaching. If I preach more boldly and passionately out of the weakness of my dark mood then should I embrace this side of me or fight it? I long to speak passionately and boldly for Christ and I know I want people to see my Christ working through me, and I know he does that in my weakness.
How do I handle that? I really don’t have an answer. All I know now is that when I am in a dark mood like that I radically depend on God more than anything else to get me through. Perhaps that is the answer. I don’t have to be a dark mood to do that.